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I Dont Want To Get Married Now-Portia Yamahan

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Portia Yamahan’s break in Nollywood came in 2006, when she won Next Movie Star reality show. In this interview, she speaks about her career, and her perception of marriage.

Porttia

How has it been hustling your way into mainstream acting?

When I won Next Movie Star in 2006, I did not know what I was getting into. I wanted a platform to showcase my talent and to work, but I didn’t know what I was getting involved in. 2006 to 2013, has been a journey and I thank God. In the beginning, I just wanted to grace the red carpets, do one or two jobs and just have fun. It became different when I realised that I do have responsibilities, and people who are looking up to me and wanted me to do more. I didn’t get it initially, but I did eventually.

Who is this new Portia Yamahan?

She is just a happy person. I like to call myself the smiling girl because I like to smile a lot. It keeps me going.

What you are working on presently?

I just concluded work on the set on ***Supermum***, the heart of gold edition. I produced both the drama and the lifestyle segments, and I did a bit of starring in the project.

You seem to only do movies within the platform that discovered you

I don’t know why I always do this, but I go on other sets to work and maybe they have a working title when they are producing the movies and it gets another title when it is eventually put in the market, but I don’t follow up to know the actual name. My problem is that I don’t get to know what the movie is called when it gets to market. So, when I am asked for titles of the movies I have done, I have challenges of figuring them out. I told someone recently that I will have to go out and find a collection of the movies I have done. I just know I have been acting and I get my pay. But I think I have to do a research on that. When people tell me that they’ve seen me in a movie, they call some strange name and I tell them I don’t know that movie, then they tell me the storyline, I am like that movie is actually titled this and they say no, it is actually titled differently. This explains why some people still think after Next Movie Star I have hardly done anything as an actress. I am into entertainment because I love the industry. It is something I have a passion for. I am not doing this to satisfy people. I just want to go out there, do what I have to do, come back home, relax and enjoy my moment. And that is why I said it has been a journey for me to rediscover myself. When I came out I just wanted to do all the red carpet, but now I don’t see the need. Probably, if it is a project I want to support and there is an event about it, I will go. For example, if it is the premiere of a movie I appeared in, I can attend. But gracing almost every event that I don’t have any business with doesn’t make sense to me anymore.

Did this awareness come with age or did you learn the hard way?

I don’t have a retentive memory, I cannot remember things. At some point I tried to keep a dairy, but when people tell me about what we have been through together, it is as if they are gisting me something new. I have a friend from my days in the Next Movie Star house, his name is Segun Ologbe. He is my memory bank. If I tell him something today and I call him 16 years from now, he would relay it to me same way I told him. I cannot remember things and that way I don’t have regrets. If I have an issue with someone and I see the person three months later, I will remember that I have something against that person, but I won’t be able to pin point it. That is what I mean by not having a retentive memory.

You once said it would take God to find Mr. Right, have you found him yet?

Does my finding Mr. Right add any value to Nigeria? Well, for now, if I have found him or not I am just a happy girl.

Are you planning to get married soon?

Is marriage a big deal, because I don’t understand it? I really don’t see the need for it. I don’t see it yet, is it about having babies or having someone to go home to? You can have that in a relationship. People ask me when I am getting married, but have they asked me if I am okay physically, mentally, spiritually or if I am sound enough or if I even understand what is called marriage? The journey of marriage for me is a whole lot. You don’t just want to grab the next man available and start telling people we are walking down the aisle. It goes beyond that.

Are you taking a cue from the experiences of your colleagues whose marriages have crashed?

When I hear people talk about others, I just listen and try to deduce what I can gain from the conversation. But I never gain anything anyway. So, I don’t look at other people’s life. If marriage wasn’t good for some people, then I think it was good to have left. This is just me sitting back to know what I want to do and what I should be doing.

Earlier, you can get what marriage can offer from an ordinary relationship, are you encouraging adultery and fornication?

There is a portion in the Bible which says a person who tells lies and a murderer would serve the same the punishment. An hypocrite and a fornicator have committed the same sin.

So to you fornication and adultery are no big deals?

All sins would be measured on the same scale.

Do you enjoy being single?

I thank God for my life because I am doing great.

Not long ago, you dated a certain Shina based in United Kingdom (UK), got engaged and almost married him before realising he was someone’s husband. What really happened?

Well, we were not engaged. I think all that happened because it was a distant relationship. I am in Nigeria and he is in the UK. Of course issues happen, things that you cannot sit down and talk about in person or you deal with on the phone. I just wasn’t prepared for the whole relationship. I was trying to see if I could manage a distant relationship, but I knew I was lying to myself at some point. And when that happened, I wasn’t shocked, nor was I heartbroken. He stays in the UK, and I reside in Nigeria, and I know it is just about six hours flight away. It just didn’t work out. I wasn’t dazed when I got to know that he was married. Someone tagged his marriage pictures on Facebook and I am sure he wasn’t even aware of it. The whole thing just came at the right time.

Have you gotten over him?

I have.

Your facial expression does not correlate with your answer?

I just want you to know that it was great that it happened that way.

Would you describe the experience as good radiance to rubbish?  

With the energy that the relationship started, it was. There were too many expectations from both ends; the breakup just came at the right time. I don’t know how people maintain a distant relationship, but it is difficult except where you have the ability to just show up where your partner is anytime you need to. When you also calculate the amount of money and stress you have to go through to travel, then you will know that it is a stressful relationship.

Has that experience affected your subsequent relationships? 

People will not have the same impression about you four years from now. So, in life change is constant. But to answer your question, no, it has not been affecting my relationships because a lot makes up a delicious meal at the end of the day.

How do you relax?

I am a stay at home girl. I don’t like staying with too many people. Too many people scare me. I would rather just stay with my family.

How would you describe your ideal man?

If I have to describe the kind of man I want then you would realise that they will have to invent him. Since that is impossible, I would rather not talk about it.

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